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Writing the Personal Statement

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This handout provides information about writing personal statements for academic and other positions.

The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories:

1. The general, comprehensive personal statement:

This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms.

2. The response to very specific questions:

Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement should respond specifically to the question being asked. Some business school applications favor multiple essays, typically asking for responses to three or more questions.

Questions to ask yourself before you write:

  • What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story?
  • What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
  • When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
  • How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?
  • If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has that work contributed to your growth?
  • What are your career goals?
  • Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades but mediocre LSAT or GRE scores, for example, or a distinct upward pattern to your GPA if it was only average in the beginning)?
  • Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
  • What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
  • What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?
  • Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?
  • What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

General advice

Answer the questions that are asked

  • If you are applying to several schools, you may find questions in each application that are somewhat similar.
  • Don't be tempted to use the same statement for all applications. It is important to answer each question being asked, and if slightly different answers are needed, you should write separate statements. In every case, be sure your answer fits the question being asked.

Tell a story

  • Think in terms of showing or demonstrating through concrete experience. One of the worst things you can do is to bore the admissions committee. If your statement is fresh, lively, and different, you'll be putting yourself ahead of the pack. If you distinguish yourself through your story, you will make yourself memorable.

Be specific

  • Don't, for example, state that you would make an excellent doctor unless you can back it up with specific reasons. Your desire to become a lawyer, engineer, or whatever should be logical, the result of specific experience that is described in your statement. Your application should emerge as the logical conclusion to your story.

Find an angle

  • If you're like most people, your life story lacks drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle or a "hook" is vital.

Concentrate on your opening paragraph

  • The lead or opening paragraph is generally the most important. It is here that you grab the reader's attention or lose it. This paragraph becomes the framework for the rest of the statement.

Tell what you know

  • The middle section of your essay might detail your interest and experience in your particular field, as well as some of your knowledge of the field. Too many people graduate with little or no knowledge of the nuts and bolts of the profession or field they hope to enter. Be as specific as you can in relating what you know about the field and use the language professionals use in conveying this information. Refer to experiences (work, research, etc.), classes, conversations with people in the field, books you've read, seminars you've attended, or any other source of specific information about the career you want and why you're suited to it. Since you will have to select what you include in your statement, the choices you make are often an indication of your judgment.

Don't include some subjects

  • There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial religious or political issues).

Do some research, if needed

  • If a school wants to know why you're applying to it rather than another school, do some research to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programs. If the school setting would provide an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention.

Write well and correctly

  • Be meticulous. Type and proofread your essay very carefully. Many admissions officers say that good written skills and command of correct use of language are important to them as they read these statements. Express yourself clearly and concisely. Adhere to stated word limits.

Avoid clichés

  • A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements.

For more information on writing a personal statement, see the personal statement vidcast .

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  • Business Management Personal Statement Examples

Applying to business management school? You will need a strong personal statement to support your university application. Use our business management personal statement examples as a guidance to write your own. Also, make sure to check other personal statement examples for more inspiration.

Business Management Personal Statement Example

The key to any successful business is good management. In order to adapt to the constant shifts of the global economy, businesses must apply methodical reasoning to people, processes, and technology. I have demonstrated a similarly flexible, adaptable approach to achieving my goals as a mature student with strong academic achievement in Administration and IT and extensive employment experience.

As soon as I graduated from school, I began working. However, as my desire to return to study grew, I combined my work experience with study to earn HNC and HND qualifications in Administration and IT. The IT component of this course has particularly intrigued me because of my interest in how technological processes impact business. It has also been fascinating to learn the theory behind the administrative and organizational practices I have implemented and observed throughout the years.

My experience as a news agent’s kid has given me hands-on experience in both financial and personnel management, including customer service, stock management, and liaising with suppliers. Having always been involved with business and management within the industry, it was perhaps not surprising when I decided to gain more experience in retail. In order to allow my passions for both the technological and financial aspects of these roles to flourish, I sought out experiences that allowed these passions to flourish. I used my expertise in providing excellent customer service while working as a Telephone Banking Advisor for Porta Wealth Management to counsel clients on the best services, weighing the benefits and drawbacks of various products in relation to their needs. Additionally, I was in charge of looking after databases, working on banking policies, and implementing rules set forth by the FSA. Moving between small, local firms and multinationals has allowed me to study the differences in administration and management, as well as how technology affects these.

As an ambitious student with a keen interest in business and management, I am constantly seeking out new ways to further my understanding and skill set. In my spare time, I delve into a diverse array of management techniques and put them into practice in both my personal and professional life, allowing me to achieve my goals and aspirations. One of the most prominent examples of this is my leadership experience as the Treasurer, and later the Chairperson, of my local Women’s Power Business Group. In this role, I have been actively involved in a variety of volunteer and fundraising initiatives, as well as organizing workshops to support isolated or vulnerable women and their children in my community. Not only has this role given me the fulfilment of making a difference, but it has also provided me with invaluable experience in implementing leadership, teamwork and administration skills in a real-world setting. I have also been able to infuse my other passions, such as my love for walking, by initiating annual sponsored events like a 5K walk for Breast Cancer Research. This unique blend of my interests and skills has allowed me to develop a well-rounded perspective and provided me with a valuable learning experience.

Having a natural inclination toward the management of people and processes as a persistent self-starter with a drive for improvement. As a result of consistently reflecting on myself in my studies and work, I have been able to identify areas for improvement and think critically about my own performance. In my undergraduate studies, I have not only honed this natural tendency but also gained knowledge on technology integration, which I believe will be crucial in the business world of the future. After graduation, I hope to utilize this knowledge and ability to make a significant impact. I’m determined to make a real impact in the business world, whether I start my own company or take on a key role within a larger organization.

Management Personal Statement Example

Being a very determined and studious individual academically, I knew a university degree was an obvious next step. In spite of my broad interests, I am drawn toward a law or business management degree. As far as Business is concerned, I chose it because of its complexity and intrigue. Management blends so seamlessly with everyday issues that I particularly enjoy. In taking the subject at A-Level, my interest has grown and matured, and I can view many businesses analytically and make suggestions regarding improvements. Law is an area which has interested me from an early age. I am an avid reader and believe that this habit is crucial when it comes to pursuing a career in law. I feel that my attributes make me an ideal candidate for the field as I possess a keen attention to detail and am intrigued by work that deals with contemporary social issues and the need to analyze and present evidence effectively. Additionally, I believe that the psychology coursework I have completed has helped me understand how people’s perspectives and recollections can be influenced by various factors. This type of work demands a certain level of self-assurance, which I am confident that I possess and can leverage to excel in the competitive sphere of law.

Throughout my career, I’ve had the opportunity to work in a diverse range of roles and environments, and this has helped me develop a broad range of skills. However, among all the experiences, I’ve had the privilege to work for Royal Worcester in the Debenhams store which I believe has been the most formative of all. Being a sales advisor in such a high-end company has taught me to have a self-assured demeanour, and I have also had to cultivate a good memory to be able to provide customers with accurate product knowledge.

Additionally, I was assigned the duty of training a new employee, demonstrating the great level of confidence my employers have in me.

From holding the role of form captain in secondary school to helping with the planning of large-scale festivities in college, my educational experiences have been quite useful to me. These kinds of responsibilities have enabled me to grow up and take my roles seriously, earning the respect of my coworkers. As English Prefect in Year 11, I was responsible for supporting the entire English department, which took up a significant amount of my time. I also had a piece I wrote against the mistreatment of women on French television published in the daily “Paris Local News” as a result of my interest in the French language. I was pleased to have my opinions represented.

I have always been passionate about languages and during secondary school, I took evening French classes. My dedication and hard work were recognized when I received the ‘The Best Student of the Year’ award for my outstanding performance. These classes required me to manage my time effectively, so my schoolwork did not suffer. Furthermore, being raised by German and French parents has helped me to achieve fluency in the language.

Aside from languages, sports and leisure activities have always been an interest of mine. In college, I used this passion to do charity work and raise money for ZBIN. One of my accomplishments includes raising £1050 and abseiling 120ft down London University. 

Additionally, I played netball for the local Netball Team and competed in the OGI UK Games for the Wembley Stallions AFC team. My performance was recognized with several trophies, as well as a gold and bronze medal in the long jump and javelin respectively.

How to write specific paragraphs of your statement:

I have always been fascinated by business and the way that companies and large organisations work. From my first steps, I have been an entrepreneur at heart, always finding ways to make a little extra money selling lemonade at the promenade or starting school projects. With my personal development, my interest in business has only intensified, and I have come to realise that business management is something I want to study at school. Read more in management personal statement examples .

I believe that a business management degree will open many doors for me and provide me with the flexibility to pursue a wide range of career paths. Whether I decide to start my own business or join an established company, I know that the skills and knowledge I gain will be invaluable. 

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personal statement for business student

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

  • Ruth Gotian
  • Ushma S. Neill

personal statement for business student

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

  • Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
  • Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
  • Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
  • Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

personal statement for business student

  • Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and assistant professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City and the author of  The Success Factor . She was named the world’s #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters . RuthGotian
  • Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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Writing a Business Personal Statement: 7 Steps to a Stand-Out Application for Your Students

personal statement for business student

James is senior content marketing manager at BridgeU. He writes and directs content for BridgeU's university partners and our community of international schools

  • Answer the fundamental question of a business personal statement
  • Sell their suitability in their business personal statement
  • Identify relevant experiences to include in the business personal statement
  • Identify the areas of business that most interest them
  • Think about what they want to learn next
  • Come up with a compelling structure for the business personal statement
  • Create the business personal statement

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Business subjects are some of the most popular around the world, meaning competition is stiff! Help your students secure top spots with these 7 steps for writing business personal statements.

The business personal statement is probably something you’ve contended with a lot as a university counsellor. After all, business and its related subjects are some of the most  popular degree subjects  and  majors  in the world!

But writing a personal statement for business can be tricky. It’s a subject that requires a diverse blend of skills. Students need to be mathematical, analytical and logical, but also have entrepreneurial spirit and creative flair. Strong leadership and communication skills are often at play, too, particularly for degrees focused on management.

So how can you ensure students’ personal statements hit all these criteria, capture who they are  and  make them stand out from an ever-growing crowd of applicants? All while keeping to the personal statement’s notoriously tight limit of just 4000 characters?

Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. We’ve created a clear 7-step process for writing a business personal statement. By the end, students will have a memorable, impactful and totally personalised essay!

Book a free demo

Learn how BridgeU can help students research a wider range of vocational courses.

personal statement for business student

Step 1: Answer the fundamental question of a business personal statement

The first step is perhaps the most important: interrogating  why  they want to study business.

The strongest personal statements showcase a well-rounded interest in business. Therefore, it’s a good idea to suggest that your students jot down some motivations in each of these categories:

  • Intellectual
  • Professional

Another helpful technique is thinking about how they chose which universities and courses to apply to. Different countries and even universities structure business degrees differently, and have different focuses, specialisations, approaches… So what factors did your students use to narrow down their options? What do their top courses have in common – and why?

These questions can uncover the nuances of what they’re looking for in the degree, and what they’re hoping to get out of it. And that makes a compelling business personal statement!

We want… a personal insight into the applicant, something that goes over and above their academic achievements and includes their motivations, their ambitions, how they chose their university course, what they feel they could contribute to our community, and what it is they seek from their university experience.” Dr Trevor Bolton:  Pro Vice Chancellor & Dean Of International Business School, Anglia Ruskin University

Step 2: Sell their suitability in their business personal statement

Once they’ve drafted ideas about  why  they want to study business, encourage your students to think about why they  should .

Here, too, you can add structure to their ideas using handy categories.

1. Their personality and characteristics

Students should keep in mind that a business personal statement – like any other – needs to reflect who they are.

What is it about their personality that’s well-suited to studying business? How does this match their career goals? Which characteristics set them up for success at university?

2. Their skills and interests

Universities want to see a curiosity that takes students beyond the curriculum, and the relevant skills that their curiosity has developed. 

Are they maths wizards? Do they have an eye for investment? Have they helped their parents file their taxes? Do they have an in-depth knowledge of a particular economic paradigm?

Some other topics and areas to include:

  • Recent news stories that have caught their attention
  • Business-related blogs or publications they follow
  • Related podcasts they listen to
  • Lectures they’ve attended
  • Public figures who inspire them

Step 3: Identify relevant experiences to include in the business personal statement

As business is a vocational pathway with infinite real-world applications, universities want to see that students have engaged with ideas and practices outside the classroom, and that their passion has driven real action.

So here are some things to consider:

  • Work experiences/placements
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Extended projects
  • Summer school  or other courses
  • A passion project they’ve pursued outside school (e.g. an online homemade candle shop, a business blog)

For some extra inspiration, check out this video of Melissa talking at one of our student events about choosing experiences for her business personal statement!

Above all, students need to think deeply about each experience. They shouldn’t just write  what  they did. Instead, have them think about why they decided to do it, and what they learned. Again, this will offer a better indication of who they are, and show that they’re insightful, interested and introspective.

And to give their business personal statement that extra pzazz, see if students can link some of their experiences to current affairs or real-life examples in the business world!

Choosing experiences and skills for a business personal statement

We know that your students probably have a veritable cornucopia of experiences and skills to draw from. To help you narrow them down to that 4000 character limit, here are some of the qualities that admissions tutors look for in business personal statements.

  • Enthusiasm and curiosity for the subject
  • Initiative and innovation
  • Individuality and personality
  • Independent learning
  • Problem-solving
  • Setting and hitting goals
  • Communication
  • Quantitative skills
  • Essay-writing skills
  • Entrepreneurship
  • A global mindset
[In business applicants, we look for] the abilities to think and work independently, follow complex lines of reasoning, demonstrate logical thought processes, solve problems and communicate accurately and succinctly” Will Breare-Hall:  Student recruitment and study abroad manager

Choosing Experiences for a Business Personal Statement

Step 4: identify the areas of business that most interest them.

For such a competitive and broad subject, simply being passionate is not enough to stand out. Students need to show a thoughtful, individual and developed interest.

Have students write down the topics, classes, projects or sources that have really captivated them in the course of their studies. It doesn’t have to be in a dedicated business class – universities know lots of students don’t have the chance to study business before university!

But they’ve likely encountered economic arguments in history or politics, or practical applications of maths techniques, or theories of occupational psychology… There are all kinds of areas that could have sparked students’ interest in business.

You don’t need to take our word for it! In one of our previous webinars, Rebecca Hill from the University of Exeter spoke about what the subjects she and her fellow admissions tutors look for in business applicants…

Here, too though, it’s absolutely imperative that students go beyond the classroom. Students should also pick out recent news stories, ideas they’ve found in their independent reading and research or case studies that fascinate them.

You can also tell your students not to shy away from being a little bit controversial… Do they have any strong opinions on recent events or issues – like why a well-known company collapsed, why a particular brand came back into the mainstream after decades, or why a real CEO is so fantastic (or terrible!)? If they can back up their thoughts, this can make a really memorable and impactful business personal statement.

The Subjects Aspiring Business Students Should Study

Step 5: think about what they want to learn next.

Universities don’t just want to understand students’ existing interest in business. They’re keen to hear how students plan to keep that motivation up throughout their studies.

A business personal statement should show universities how they will develop the knowledge, skills and curiosities that students are bringing to the table.

And while self-confidence and selling themselves is crucial, a little humility never goes amiss! Students aren’t yet masters of business, and acknowledging that there are areas they don’t know all about indicates their thirst for knowledge and determination to grow.

Top tip: Have students look at the modules offered on their favourite business degree programmes, and/or at the specialisations of the professors in the department. These could be the perfect inspiration or springboard for topics they’d like to pursue!

Step 6: Come up with a compelling structure for the business personal statement

Now that your students have all of the ingredients for a stellar personal statement, it’s time to help them put it all together!

The most important tip is to ensure that each personal statement tells a coherent story.

If your students feel overwhelmed, they can’t go wrong with a great personal statement template – at least as a jumping-off point.

Related resource:  Personal statement template

Step 7: Create the business personal statement

After the sixth step, your students will have to go away and independently write a first draft – but they’re not on their own from here on out! They’ll need to share it with you for feedback and proofreading.

Of course, having lots of different drafts zipping back and forth can get confusing and chaotic. It’s a good idea to use a  free platform like BridgeU , where you can make edits and suggestions in one single document that students can see and respond to from their own accounts.

It also makes writing references and recommendations so much simpler, as you and your colleagues can draft your comments in line with students’ statements and see their experiences and transcripts with the click of a button.

Learn more by booking your free BridgeU demo below.

Learn how BridgeU can help deliver better outcomes for your students and improved results for your school

personal statement for business student

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How to write a personal statement for business studies

Business studies courses are heavily oversubscribed, so show your skills and understanding of business on a global level

B usiness and management studies degrees are among the most oversubscribed subjects at university. The highest ranking universities demand three As at A-level to be considered for a place. For these programmes, the personal statement is your chance to show admission tutors your potential beyond your grades.

In your personal statement you should talk about what you have learnt through your A-level studies. Courses with a specialist focus on accountancy or finance will ask for maths A-level, so if you studied maths do mention the skills you gained.

Peter Corvi, associate dean at the University of Warwicks' business school, says: "We're looking for strong quantitative skills."

Critically reflective essay writing skills are also important for a business studies student, says Corvi, so if you studied an essay based subject like English, history or economics, do mention your knowledge in this area.

The University of Warwick wants to see that students are able to formulate a rational argument and write it to length. Corvi says: "Some of our strong applicants are missing this skill."

So make sure that your personal statement is fluent, articulate and well structured.

Corvi says that each year he has more qualified applicants than he has places. One way for candidates to distinguish themselves is through their extra curricular work. But Corvi says he doesn't want to see descriptions of these skills without examples – make sure you explain why your extra curriculur activities are relevant, and give concrete examples of what you did and how this makes you a suitable candidate.

This sentiment is echoed at the University of Bath's school of management. Nick Kinnie, associate dean of undergraduate taught studies, advises students not to underestimate the importance of activities such as Young Enterprise, Duke of Edinburgh and sporting positions, but to explain why you undertook them.

Kinnie says: "We want to see why they did it, what they learned and why it's relevant."

Intellectual curiosity and a strong work ethic are the core skills the London School of Economics (LSE) are looking for on their management programme. Will Breare-Hall, student recruitment and study abroad manager, says the LSE is looking for "the abilities to think and work independently, follow complex lines of reasoning, demonstrate logical thought processes, solve problems and communicate accurately and succinctly".

At Bath, the business programmes are concerned with linking theory to practice, so candidates need to demonstrate their ability to reflect on their experiences and explain how the skills they learned are applicable to higher education.

Once the admissions tutors have looked at grades to determine if an applicant meets its minimum requirements they turn their attention to the personal statement.

It's important to try and stand out, but extravagant stories won't impress an admissions team.

"It's an extreme example, but one year I had an application from someone who said that their mother knew when she was carrying the child that they were going to be an accountant," says Corvi.

Corvi recommends applicants have their statements read back to them, so they can hear how they sound to others reading it.

He says: "Describe yourself in a positive light without going overboard."

Bath's programmes, like many other institutions offering similar courses, have a strong emphasis on the global nature of business and management. Kinnie says he wants to see applicants not only express an interest in working in multinational environments, but also an awareness that they will be working with students from various cultures and backgrounds.

Although it's advisable for students to seek advice from their school when writing their statements, admission tutors want to hear the students' voice in their application.

Kinnie says: "The clue is in the title. The personal statement should read in an authentic and real way and in their own language.

"This is the first step in university life: taking responsibility for your own learning and development."

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Business and Management Personal Statement

Business is one of the most important components of modern life, and I find its dynamic and interdisciplinary nature very interesting. Having enjoyed studying Business Studies at GCSE and A level, I would like to further my knowledge and learn more about management theory and how different organisations operate in the Global economy. I look forward to applying my learning, and developing practical managerial skills, by undertaking a work placement in industry to enhance my undergraduate study.

I am an extremely self-motivated, organised and diligent student, who achieves in both independent and group working environments. The research and planning involved in my EPQ project, entitled, 'To what extent is branding the most important influence on consumer preferences of coffee shops?' is enhancing my self-study and organisation skills, and allowing me to utilise some of the business theories that I have studied. My A level subjects provide me with skills that complement my study of business. In geography, collecting primary and secondary data before analysing the results has developed my sampling and data handling skills. Cross-over topics include globalisation and demographics, which have helped my understanding of the world within which organisations operate. In history, a subject requiring investigation and review of different historians' interpretations of past events, I have developed my analytical and critical thinking skills. These skills are invaluable in business today, especially in the decision-making process.

I am an active member of my school's Sixth Form council, which has strengthened my oral presentation and problem-solving skills, as the council is based on finding solutions, through discussion, to issues raised. I have volunteered as a prefect and both an educational and peer supporter; responsible positions which required communication skills and maturity to assist lower year students. Through completing work experience at Waitrose, I gained an insight into the world of work, learning about the importance of customer service in the retail sector. I participated in the daily managers' meeting which reinforced the importance to me of leadership, teamwork and communication in business.

In addition, I was a member of the winning team in a school-wide Business Smart Programme that required us to generate and pitch a business idea to senior staff and an external business owner. These experiences confirmed my career aspirations are definitely within the area of Business Management. In addition to extra curricular school responsibilities, playing tennis has been my passion for a number of years and I regularly represent my tennis club's adult first teams in local leagues. Through competing in singles tournaments, I have progressed to an LTA rating of 5.2, which required significant perseverance and commitment to achieve. I am a trained tennis coaching assistant and have a part-time job helping to deliver junior lessons at my club. This allows me to apply my leadership, planning and communication skills to organise a group of young players who require clear, concise and structured direction in order to improve their game. I also captain a local table tennis team and have represented Chelmsford in the National Junior League. Playing so much sport whilst studying has required me to effectively prioritise and manage my time. Undertaking the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze, Silver and Gold awards has allowed me to participate in many varied activities and learn the importance of leadership, co-operation and determination to successfully overcome challenging situations and enjoy team expeditions.

I am very much looking forward to studying a degree in Business and Management at university to further both my theoretical business knowledge and its practical application into the 'real world'. I will grasp every opportunity available and am excited to face the challenges that university life has to offer.

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StandOut CV

Business Student CV example

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If you want to bag a top internship while stuyding a business degree, you must start by writing an interview-winning CV.

So, we have created an example Business Student CV to inspire you, along with detailed guidance on how to create your own professional CV, that will hook recruiters and get you hired.

Guide contents

Business Student CV example

  • CV layout and format
  • Your CV profile
  • Work experience

Education section

CV templates 

Business Student CV 1

This is a good example of a Business Student CV which contains all of the information that a hiring manager will need to know, and presents it in a well- structured, easy-to-read manner.

Take some time to study and understand this CV, and refer to it throughout the writing of your own CV for best results.

CV builder

Business Student CV layout and format

If you focus purely on the written content of your CV but ignore the style and layout, your efforts could end up wasted.

No matter how suitable you are for the role, no recruiter wants to spend time squinting and trying to navigate a badly designed and disorganised CV.

Instead, make sure to organise your content into a simple structure and spend some time formatting it for ease of reading – it will ensure every recruiter and hiring manager can read your CV with ease.

CV format and structure

Formatting advice

  • Length: While there’s no ‘official’ CV length rule, the majority of recruiters agree that less is more. Aim for two pages of A4 or less. This is just enough room to showcase your suitability to the role, without overwhelming recruiters with irrelevant or excessive content.
  • Readability : By clearly formatting your section headings (bold, or a different colour font, do the trick) and breaking up big chunks of text into snappy bullet points, time-strapped recruiters will be able to skim through your CV with ease.
  • Design: Your CV needs to look professional, sleek and easy to read. A subtle colour palette, clear font and simple design are generally best for this, as fancy designs are often harder to navigate.
  • Avoid photos: Recruiters can’t factor in appearance, gender or race into the recruitment process, so a profile photo is totally unnecessary. Additionally, company logos or images won’t add any value to your application, so you’re better off saving the space to showcase your experience instead.

CV structure

Divide your CV into the following major sections when writing it:

  • Name and contact details  – Head your CV with your name and contact details, to let the reader know who you are and how to contact you.
  • CV profile – A brief paragraph which summarises your skills and experience and highlights why you’re a good match for the role.
  • Core skills list – A snappy, bullet-pointed list of your most relevant skills.
  • Work experience – A structured list of your work experience in reverse chronological order.
  • Education – A summary of any relevant qualifications or professional training you’ve completed.
  • Hobbies and interests – An optional section, which should only be used if your hobbies are relevant to the jobs you’re applying to.

Now I’ll tell you exactly what you should include in each CV section.

CV Contact Details

Contact details

Begin by sharing your contact details, so it’s easy for employers to give you a call. Keep to the basics, such as:

  • Mobile number
  • Email address – It should sound professional, with no slang or nicknames. Make a new one for your job applications if necessary.
  • Location – Simply share your vague location, for example ‘Manchester’, rather than a full address.
  • LinkedIn profile or portfolio URL – Remember to update them before you send your application.

Business Student CV Profile

Your CV profile (or personal statement , if you’re an entry-level applicant) provides a brief overview of your skills, abilities and suitability for a position.

It’s ideal for busy recruiters and hiring managers, who don’t want to waste time reading unsuitable applications.

Think of it as your personal sales pitch. You’ve got just a few lines to sell yourself and prove you’re a great match for the job – make it count!

CV profile

Tips for creating an strong CV profile:

  • Keep it concise: Recruiters have piles of CVs to read through and limited time to dedicate to each, so it pays to showcase your abilities in as few words as possible. 3-4 lines is ideal.
  • Tailor it: Before writing your CV, make sure to do some research. Figure out exactly what your desired employers are looking for and make sure that you are making those requirements prominent in your CV profile, and throughout.
  • Don’t add an objective: Career goals and objectives are best suited to your cover letter , so don’t waste space with them in your CV profile.
  • Avoid cliches: Cheesy clichès and generic phrases won’t impress recruiters, who read the same statements several times per day. Impress them with your skill-set, experience and accomplishments instead!

Example CV profile for Business Student

What to include in your business student cv profile.

  • Summary of experience: To give employers an idea of your capabilities, show them your track record by giving an overview of the types of companies you have worked for in the past and the roles you have carried out for previous employers – but keep it high level and save the details for your experience section.
  • Relevant skills: Employers need to know what skills you can bring to their organisation, and ideally they want to see skills that match their job vacancy. So, research your target roles thoroughly and add the most important Business Student skills to your profile.
  • Essential qualifications: If the jobs you are applying to require candidates to have certain qualifications, then you must add them in your profile to ensure they are seen by hiring managers.

Quick tip: If spelling and grammar are not a strong point of yours, Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to add pre-written content that has been created by recruitment experts, and proofread by our team.

Core skills section

In addition to your CV profile, your core skills section provides an easily digestible snapshot of your skills – perfect for grabbing the attention of busy hiring managers.

As Business Student jobs might receive a huge pile of applications, this is a great way to stand out and show off your suitability for the role.

It should be made up of 2-3 columns of bullet points and be made up of skills that are highly relevant to the jobs you are targeting.

Core skills CV

Work experience/Career history

By this point, employers will be keen to know more detail about you career history.

Starting with your most recent role and working backwards, create a snappy list of any relevant roles you’ve held.

This could be freelance, voluntary, part-time or temporary jobs too. Anything that’s relevant to your target role is well-worth listing!

CV work experience

Structuring your roles

Your work experience section will be long, so it’s important to structure it in a way which helps recruiters to quickly and easily find the information they need.

Use the 3-step structure, shown in the below example, below to achieve this.

Role descriptions

Start with a brief summary of your role as a whole, as well as the type of company you worked for.

Key responsibilities

Next, write up a punchy list of your daily duties and responsibilities, using bullet points.

Wherever you can, point out how you put your hard skills and knowledge to use – especially skills which are applicable to your target role.

Key achievements

Finish off by showcasing 1-3 key achievements made within the role.

This could be anything that had a positive effect on your company, clients or customers, such as saving time or money, receiving exemplary feedback or receiving an award.

After your work experience, your education section should provide a detailed view of your academic background.

Begin with those most relevant to Business Student jobs, such as vocational training or degrees . If you have space, you can also mention your academic qualifications, such as A-Levels and GCSEs.

Focus on the qualifications that are most relevant to the jobs you are applying for.

Interests and hobbies

This section is entirely optional, so you’ll have to use your own judgement to figure out if it’s worth including.

If your hobbies and interests could make you appear more suitable for your dream job, then they are definitely worth adding.

Interests which are related to the industry, or hobbies like sports teams or volunteering, which display valuable transferable skills might be worth including.

Writing your Business Student CV

An interview-winning CV for a Business Student role, needs to be both visually pleasing and packed with targeted content.

Whilst it needs to detail your experience, accomplishments and relevant skills, it also needs to be as clear and easy to read as possible.

Remember to research the role and review the job ad before applying, so you’re able to match yourself up to the requirements.

If you follow these guidelines and keep motivated in your job search, you should land an interview in no time.

Best of luck with your next application!

  • The University of Warwick

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If you are considering postgraduate study, you will need to think about writing an application that demonstrates why you are the right candidate for the course and their university. This is where your personal statement comes in. 

You’ll already have written a personal statement for your undergraduate application, so the concept should be familiar. However, there are some things you should be aware of when it comes to writing specifically for postgraduate study. 

In this guide, we’ll explain how to write a stand-out Masters personal statement and provide you with some valuable insights from our Masters Recruitment Manager Danielle, here at Warwick Business School (WBS).

What is a Masters personal statement?

An MSc personal statement, also known as a ‘statement of purpose’, supports your application to study a postgraduate course at university. It should highlight your key skills and experience whilst demonstrating your understanding of the course and conveying your academic skills and interests.

From her experience in the Recruitment and Business Development team at WBS, Danielle gives her take on a personal statement: 

Your personal statement is your opportunity to sell yourself and differentiate yourself from any other applicant, share your passion for joining WBS and link your life experiences and skills to how you could contribute to a cohort.

How long should a Masters personal statement be?

A personal statement for postgraduate study should fit within two pages of A4. Whilst you won’t be penalised if it is slightly longer, you should always make sure the content is relevant and doesn’t repeat information elsewhere in your application. 

What do you need to prepare before writing a Masters personal statement? 

Before writing your personal statement for postgraduate study, there are a few things you should consider.

Research your options

Take the time to read through course pages and brochures. You’ll find in-depth information on what the course involves and how it might align with your career goals. Danielle explains how understanding what the course involves is key in demonstrating your suitability and passion for a course: 

All of our course webpages feature extensive information on the course modules, so take the time to show you’ve done your research in your personal statement. Your personal statement is your chance to relate yourself to our core values and demonstrate what a strong candidate you will be for one of our programmes. Ensure you also use this as an opportunity to link our programme to your future career.

Course titles should not be taken at face value. Whilst some universities will have courses with the same titles, the content will differ. You need to demonstrate you understand what the course entails and why you want to apply for a particular course as. Danielle adds:

Take time to look at the content of the course you are applying for; although course titles may be the same at different universities the course content can be different. Do your research and demonstrate this in your personal statement, showing how invested you are in studying at WBS.

Consider what you want from your studies

The range of choice when it comes to postgraduate study is vast, and it can feel overwhelming when deciding which course is right for you. 

Whilst opinions from your friends and family are important, they shouldn’t be the ultimate deciding factor when choosing a course. Ultimately you need to consider what you really want and whether it aligns with your career goals. 

Begin to prepare your application

Once you have decided which course you would like to apply for and you’ve ensured you meet the entry requirements, you will need to begin preparing your application. This includes collecting the correct documentation such as a CV, transcript, personal statement, and reference.

What should you include in a Masters personal statement?

Recruitment and admissions teams receive thousands of applications each year so it is important that your personal statement is to the point and demonstrates what they are looking for in their students. 

Danielle gives some insight into what our recruitment team looks for in a personal statement for a Masters degree:

Aim to keep your personal statement to the point by making sure you answer the following questions, addressing the key points our Selection Committee will be looking for:

  • Why have you selected this course? What are your motivating factors?
  • How do you see this course benefitting your career plans?
  • What will you contribute to your cohort?

As well as addressing these key questions, you should also include the following:

Academic achievements 

You need to demonstrate how your undergraduate study has prepared you for a postgraduate course. You can do this by highlighting specific achievements, projects and pieces of work as well as mentioning any particular topics that interest you. 

Professional achievements

If you completed any professional work experience alongside your studies, it is a good idea to mention them here. Highlight any duties, tasks and responsibilities you had to demonstrate what you gained from this work experience. 

Relevant extracurricular activities

Including information about relevant extracurricular activities you are involved in can help to give a more rounded view of you as a person. This could include volunteering opportunities and any meaningful hobbies you have. 

Transferable skills

Your transferable skills should be highlighted throughout your personal statement. The types of things you could include are presentation skills, communication skills, analytical thinking and time management. Consider what you can bring to lectures and workshops. For example, if your course involves a lot of group work, use an example where you demonstrate your experience with this.

What should you avoid when writing a Masters personal statement?

Repetition of information.

When submitting both a CV and personal statement it can be easy to fall into the trap of just repeating the same information across both documents. Your personal statement is an opportunity for you to reflect and expand on what you have stated on your CV, rather than repeating the same information.

Not providing enough context

Simply listing your achievements without providing context will not prove to the recruitment teams that you are the right candidate for the course. Provide hard evidence to back up the statements you make and try to give two or three in-depth examples, rather than several weak answers. 

Not tailoring your application to the specific university or course

Recruitment and admissions teams are keen to hear why you have chosen a specific course and why you want to attend their university. You need to provide clear examples of what excites you about their institution and how you can align with their particular values.  

What do recruitment teams look for in a Masters personal statement?

University recruitment teams and selection committees review thousands of applications each year. To ensure your application stands out, you must show that you have taken the time to prepare and research your chosen university.

Recruitment teams want to see your passion for the subject and motivations for joining their institution. Detailing your experience and the skills you can bring will help to emphasise this. Danielle also suggests not overlooking the obvious when it comes to writing a personal statement:

It may sound simple but the first answer to this question is that the Selection Committee wants to see a well written, clearly structured personal statement which demonstrates good preparation and research.

What else do I need to include with my Masters application?

The documents you need to include in your application may vary by institution and course. But generally, as well as your personal statement, you will also need to include: 

  • Academic and professional references
  • Copies of your undergraduate degree certificate and academic transcripts
  • A list of final year modules if you're still studying for an undergraduate degree
  • A research proposal (not all courses will require this)

If you are an international student, there are some additional things you will need to provide including: 

  • A copy of your passport
  • Proof of your language proficiency through either a Test of English as a Foreign Language (TOEFL) certificate, or any others that meet requirements outlined on our course pages.

When are the deadlines for Masters applications?

Deadlines for Masters programmes vary quite widely between courses and universities. Information on specific deadlines can be found on their respective course pages and postgraduate brochures . You should aim to make an application early in the cycle to ensure there are still places available on the course.

Deadlines for scholarships and external scholarships can also vary, so if you wish to apply for these, you will also have to factor in these deadlines.

Frequently asked questions

Is there an interview for masters programmes.

At WBS, there are no interviews for MSc courses. Instead, all decisions are made based on the application you submit. Your undergraduate transcript will be reviewed in depth along with your CV and personal statement.

How many Masters can you apply for?

If you are applying to a UK university, you can apply for as many courses and universities as you like. However, you should not over-stretch yourself and you should only apply for courses that you are really passionate about.

Writing an appropriately tailored application can be time-consuming and attempting to write too many could jeopardise your chances of being successful. 

Do you have to pay for your Masters application?

We require an application fee of £75 to cover administrative costs. If you're applying to multiple Warwick courses, remember each course will warrant its own application fee. 

How do I apply for a Masters degree?

We have our own application system, and you can find linked 'how to apply' sections on all of our course pages. 

------------------------

Discover our range of MSc courses at Warwick Business School

Designed for the change makers of the future, our postgraduate courses will drive you to learn, question, debate and make an impact on the world around you.

Our challenging and rewarding courses will provide you with everything you need to take your personal and professional skills to the next level. 

Related Blogs

Alum Sophia shares her incredible journey at WBS - dive into collaboration, new experiences, and distinct academic opportunities

MSc Management student Aditya shares his advice on balancing his wellbeing alongside studies at Warwick Business School.

WBS MSc Mathematical Finance graduate Luxmi Kiran shares his top tips and advice for future students.

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Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples

Introduction.

Applying to an MBA program is a lengthy process that involves multiple steps and numerous requirements. Some parts of the process are relatively simple, such as academic transcripts or test score submissions. 

Other parts are more complex and require more from you, such as the MBA essay(s) that you’ll likely have to submit. Of course, every bit of information you include in your application is vitally important because your application will be considered in its entirety before any decisions regarding your candidacy are made. 

However, certain portions of your application may hold more weight than others. There is no doubt that grades are important, and having a high GPA or an exceptional GMAT score certainly helps improve your chances of acceptance. 

Yet, numbers don’t leave much room for standing out, which is necessary when considering the sheer amount of applications MBA admissions committees have to sort through. However, writing an outstanding MBA personal statement is your chance to do precisely that. 

An exceptionally well-written personal statement could be the gateway to your success and could land your name on a shortlist for an interview invitation to the business school of your choice, getting you that much closer to an acceptance to a future MBA program. 

On the other hand, “ An essay that reveals any weakness in your candidacy could quickly put you in the reject pile,” so the stakes are high when you get to this point in your application. To learn more about where you should start, how you can ensure that your MBA personal statement makes you stand out, and what kinds of things you should avoid writing about - read on.

What is an MBA Personal Statement?

An MBA personal statement introduces you to the school’s admissions committee that you’re applying to. It is also an opportunity for you to show them what you could potentially contribute to the community that exists at their school.

For most schools, your chance to write a personal statement comes with your responses to the MBA essay questions. Each school has its own requirements when it comes to the MBA essay. There is only one essay prompt for some schools, and for others, there are multiple questions that you must answer. 

Similarly, some schools have word requirements that limit either the minimum or maximum word count that you can use for your answers, whereas others provide the question and let you decide how much to contribute.

Although each school has topics they typically like to cover, many schools change their questions from year-to-year, but some general themes tend to reoccur quite often in these kinds of prompts. One theme that often comes up has to do with your interest in the school or how you envision yourself fitting into the school’s program. 

For example, the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania requests their applicants to answer “What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA?” They also ask “how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community?” 

Other schools are more interested in the theme of self-reflection. The University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business , for example, wants to learn “more about you outside of the office,” and they request that you take their essay as an “opportunity to tell us [them] something about who you are.” 

For many schools, the theme of goals and ambitions is a popular topic. At NYU Stern , they ask applicants, “What are your short and long-term career goals?” and  “how will the MBA help you achieve them?”Another major theme shared by many schools is that of leadership. 

Berkeley Haas requires that applicants consider how “the definition of successful leadership has evolved over the last decade and will continue to change,” and they’re interested in knowing “What do you need to develop to become a successful leader?” Although some schools branch away from these general subjects, these themes tend to be the most common, so the chances are good that you may have to write about one or more of these topics in your MBA personal statement.

Top Tips on Writing an Outstanding MBA Personal Statement

Focus on the question.

You’re going to want to keep in mind several things while you’re writing your MBA personal statement. One of the things is that you maintain a steady focus on the actual question(s) asked throughout your essay. Of course, the questions are often very open-ended and allow you to answer them in a variety of ways. 

Once you’ve chosen a path, try your best to stick with it and continuously remind yourself of the task at hand, so you can question whether you’re straying too far from what you’re trying to write about. Staying on topic and focusing on the question at hand will also help prevent you from wasting space and time on irrelevant information. 

Although the admissions committee probably doesn’t have a distinct black and white answer to the question that they’re asking, they are still looking for an answer, so make sure that you’re not just providing them with an autobiography. 

Writing about your strengths and experiences is still necessary, so make sure you cover any  relevant strengths and experiences in accordance with the theme and question. Although admissions committees are generally interested in applicants who write unique content, it is important to avoid getting too far off track with your MBA personal statement. There is still a question at hand to answer, with directions that must be followed, so don’t write about whatever you please.

Show Your Passion

A good, compelling MBA personal statement is chalked full of passion. If you let your passion shine through in every line, you’re bound to grab the attention of the admissions committee that reads your application. No business school is interested in an applicant that lacks passion and enthusiasm. 

The main goal of each school is to fill their cohort with future leaders, who are passionate and driven to succeed. Let them know what kind of  business goals you have in mind and give them an idea of your ultimate ambitions. Whether you want to create a startup, start a nonprofit, or even move up within the ranks of the company that you’re already working for, let the admissions committee in on how you view your future in the business world.

With that said, make sure it's overtly clear why that envisioned future has ignited a passion inside of you that has pushed you to apply for an MBA program. Ensure that you go back to the source of your ambitions and give them an idea of where your passion originally stemmed from. Doing this will help them understand your aspirations better, and it will also give them a better overall understanding of who you are at your core.

Get to Know the School

It should also be evident in your MBA personal statement that you’ve invested time into getting to know the school that you’re applying to. Schools differ from each other in varying ways, and each of their MBA programs have distinct features that set them apart from one another. 

If you can demonstrate an understanding of the school’s missions, values, and goals in your personal statement, it will let the admissions committee know that you’ve done your research. Knowing these things will also help you tailor your MBA personal statement to meet some of the school’s criteria. 

Once you know the goals of a school, you can detail various ways that you’re capable of contributing to them. Once you know their values, you can show them various traits, which you possess, that align with those values. Once you know what their mission is, you can highlight ways in which your mission is similar. 

Of course, it isn’t necessary to reflect every single virtue that the school values in your MBA personal statement, but if you’re able to make enough of these connections between yourself and the school, they’ll see that you’re a good fit for a future cohort, increasing your chances of acceptance into one of their programs. 

Let the admissions committee know why you feel their MBA program is the best fit for you. If you can think of some specific things that their program provides, such as experiential learning or internships, mention why these opportunities excite you. Additionally, if a particular member of their faculty or a specific course interests you, explain where your appeal is coming from. 

There are many ways for you to gain more information about a school that will be useful during this portion of your personal statement. You can check out the school’s website, reach out to department heads, look into previous or current students’ profiles, look at the school’s online forums and social media groups, and even attend their events scheduled for prospective students.

Highlight Your Leadership Qualities

Upon closer inspection of some business school websites, it will be apparent that most of them value leadership above all else. Essentially, all business schools are looking to fill their cohorts with students who will become global leaders in the future. 

If you can show a school’s admissions committee that you have leadership qualities and that you have the potential to be a great leader, it will undoubtedly pique their interest in you. The best way to do this is by providing an insight into your motivations, strengths, and capabilities by emphasizing experiences that you’ve had, which present you as a proactive person who takes charge of the situations. 

You don’t need to describe some grand situation where you made a global impact. However, if you’ve taken the initiative to lead a local fundraiser, or you’ve started a club and led them to a set goal, these are the kinds of experiences that are worth mentioning because they will portray you as a leader.

Back-Up Your Claims

It is of vital importance that you don’t merely tell admissions why you’re a good fit for their school, or that you’re a strong leader, or that you have what it takes to make it in the world of business. Instead, you must show them all of these things by backing up your claims with examples. 

Your claims will feel empty and baseless if you don’t have real-life examples to back them up. Rather than telling a school how resourceful or imaginative you are, tell them an anecdotal story that helps them independently draw this conclusion . 

You can describe a situation when you made use of connections you have within your community to get something done that would benefit everyone or a time when you had to come up with a creative solution to a setback that you were facing. 

Unlike general statements, stories are memorable and will be hard for admissions committees to forget about you if you tell them a story that shines a light on your best side. Keep your stories brief and to the point, but include the necessary details to illustrate the points you’re trying to make.

Mistakes to Avoid While Writing an MBA Personal Statement

Don’t be too eager to please.

Many people make a common mistake when writing their MBA personal statement by focusing too much on writing exactly what they believe the committee wants to hear. In other words, trying too hard to please the admissions committee can sometimes have the opposite effect. 

When taking on an MBA essay, if you write what you think the admissions committee is expecting, you’ll waste a perfect opportunity to show them your actual value to their program, and you’ll likely blend in with the rest of the applicants. 

Each admissions committee has boxes that they are looking to tick, and the overall goal is for you to tick as many or all of those boxes as possible in a natural manner. If your aim is fitting the bill, it will be obvious and will detract from your chance to come across as unique. 

It will also make for a dull and underwhelming MBA personal statement. Beyond fulfilling specific requirements, you should demonstrate that you have character. Don’t be afraid to break the mold, at times, if it will allow you to open up more and share something genuine about who you are. 

Diversity is essential at any business school because diverse perspectives are what make a cohort attractive and interesting. So, think of how you can contribute to this diversity and embrace your authentic self when you craft your MBA personal statement.

Avoid Summarizing Your Résumé

By the time that an admissions committee gets to your MBA personal statement, the chances are good that they’ve already read through your résumé . Thus, there is no need for you to restate information directly from your résumé during your MBA personal statement. 

The admissions committee has that information already, and you can trust that they will not forget it if it is worth remembering.  By the time they get to your personal statement, they are craving something original and fresh. 

The purpose of a résumé is to list your relevant experience, but the purpose of an MBA personal statement is to show why that experience matters and why it sets you apart from all the other applicants. 

If you want your essay to be captivating, you must draw the admissions committee in with your storytelling skills. Use vivid descriptions to bring the stories that you’re telling to life and take the admissions committee on a journey that demands their attention.

No Need to Apologize

A general rule to keep in mind when writing your MBA personal statements is to avoid making any apologies. If there is a portion of your application that you aren’t feeling overly confident about, don’t draw attention to it. 

It might feel like you must explain yourself, whether this means justifying a lower than average GPA or test score or why there is a gap in your employment. 

However, your MBA personal statement is a limited opportunity for you to convince an admissions committee of your candidacy for their program, so spending time on things that don’t accentuate your best side is a waste of valuable time and words. Rather than apologizing for your potential downfalls, draw the admissions committee’s attention away from those parts of your application. 

Give them a good reason to naturally forget those things by wowing them with an MBA personal statement that highlights all of the reasons you are the ideal choice for their next cohort. The only time it is acceptable to explain your shortcomings is if the essay question specifically asks about them.

Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples 

Goals essay example.

Essay 1: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

Sample Introduction:

Prior to COVID, I dreamed of a future as an entrepreneur building on my mother’s example of using business to make a difference in local communities. 2020, however, afforded me the opportunity to simultaneously begin pursuing the impact I hoped to make, even without my own venture, by participating in [Name] and [Name] recruiting efforts, while pausing to reflect on those aspirations.

Though I would still like to build on my mother’s legacy of community-minded entrepreneurship, I believe I will be able to make the most direct impact by founding my own venture capital fund that incubates companies from seed to late stage. My three years at [Company] have helped me develop analytical and operational skills necessary to be a thoughtful founder, but a Wharton MBA will help me refine my leadership style, as well as help me adopt the mindset of a community-minded investor.

Sample Body Paragraph:

With a flexible core foundation, I will use my time at Wharton to focus on classes that will uniquely help me achieve my goal. As a double major in Business Economics and Public Policy and Entrepreneurship & Innovation, I will not only understand the best way to use business to improve a community with classes like “Urban Public Policy and Private Economic Development,” but I can also study different methods to bring solutions to life with classes like “Venture Capital and Entrepreneurial Management” and “Finance of Buyouts and Acquisitions.” Best of all, I can begin applying and practicing what I have learned in the classroom by working with the [Company] or spending a semester in [Place] with the robust [Community] in the [Area].

Sample Conclusion:

After graduating, I intend to be an active alumni, joining the Alumni Angel group, as well as serving as a mentor for Wharton students. Bolstered by my experiences inside and outside the classroom, I will be ready to make my mark on the Venture Capital world, bringing more equitable access to financial resources for entrepreneurs of color. When I do, I know that I will have the support of my Wharton community behind me.

Why it Works:

This is a fantastic sample of a MBA personal statement for many reasons. Firstly, the applicant doesn’t waste any time and gets right into an explanation of their personal goals and aspirations at the beginning of their essay, which then ties into a brief explanation of the source of their inspiration. 

They also highlight their opportunistic nature by showing how they took advantage of the situation when COVID began. They consistently reference specific parts of the Wharton MBA program they’re interested in, such as some specific classes they intend to take. They also mention how they plan to use their experience at Wharton to make their dream a reality.

Contributions Essay Example

Essay 2: Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words)

While I may have a few years before launching my own fund to transform local communities, during my time at Wharton, I intend to be an active participant in Wharton’s Anti-Racism goals, fighting to bring equity and inclusion with the same passion I have brought to my office and B/LX network. I want to help usher in a new era at Wharton focused on today’s business concerns where diversity and inclusion are top of mind.

I plan to be an active member of whatever initiatives are formed with student involvement seeking to effect that change, such as the Wharton Graduate Association (WGA). As a member of the [Organization], I can work with my peers to network in our hometowns to increase [Ethnicity] participation in MBA programs, which has been historically under-represented, as well as welcome prospective students as a host during [Initiative], to ensure that all who are interested feel welcome the moment they approach this school.

I have learned through my work at [Company] that one needs to bring in allies to improve diversity - cultivating a strong affinity group is a start, but not enough. As a member of the [Group], I will support Wharton founders, specifically ones with social ventures addressing poverty and inequality in the greater [City] community, thus growing student-funded entrepreneurship with a social benefit. As a fellow, I will also be able to further hone my own sense of leadership to understand the best way to motivate people to prioritize community benefit.

When not focused on ventures and leadership, I plan to school fellow students in the Tennis Club, share meals with the Wharton Food Club, and continue bragging about California’s Cabernet Sauvignons to the Wine Club. I envision my Wharton experience moving beyond the classroom to build an alumni cohort to last a lifetime, supporting each other to overcome the challenges we will inevitably face as we become next generation leaders.

This MBA personal statement is yet another strong sample. This applicant has clearly done their research and has discovered that they have a goal in common with the school they’re applying to. They focus on this shared goal and highlight how they intend to achieve progress towards it by working together with the school and its community. 

They make sure to back up their claims with examples of relevant work experience  that is in line with this vein of thought. Doing this demonstrates focus and shows that they are serious about their passions. 

Their conclusion further reinstates the fact that they are familiar with what the school has to offer, and it also flushes their personality out a little more. It also helps the admissions committee to envision the applicant fitting into the school’s community in various ways.

Self Reflection Essay Example

Essay 3: As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

Disability has always been close to home; my family and community have a long and painful history of degenerative disease. I often think of my uncle, who steadfastly refused to let others help him eat meals following a string of kidney surgeries, and to my grandfather, suffering from neurodegenerative decline, who would rather exert excruciating effort to walk up a flight of stairs than ask me to get reading glasses from his bedroom.

It dawned on me that a reliance on others to move through daily life slowly chips away at one’s humanity; that lost independence is a common denominator of disability, and it impacts people almost as meaningfully as the underlying medical condition does. While various technologies and medical subspecialties exist to ease physical suffering, there is woefully little out there aimed to mitigate this deeper psychological problem. What’s more, the data and tools to solve this issue do exist, but millions continue to suffer.

I’m driven by finding answers to the most complex, most challenging problems faced by humanity; the ones that are too daunting, or those that go unrecognized. I felt a moral obligation to intervene. What followed would help me discover my life’s mission – building AI-driven tech to improve healthcare.

Sample Body Paragraphs

I rallied a friend, and together we built an AI-driven, low-cost speech-recognition platform that enabled voice-activated control over electronic systems in a household, thus empowering individuals suffering from ALS and multiple sclerosis. It was an exercise in creativity and persistence. It was quite daunting at the outset - I still have scars from initial circuit prototypes exploding in my hand. But, in the end, our solution worked, and cost a fraction of a now commercially available solution like Alexa.

As I think back to my core questions of independence, disability, and the juxtaposition of

medical and psychological suffering, I see increased life expectancy as a testament to modern advances in medicine. I now want to start the conversation around ensuring that people like my uncle or grandfather live not just longer, but happier, more dignified lives.

In the long run, by proving the benefits of AI-driven healthcare to the world, I want to build an enterprise that not only continues to develop sophisticated technologies, solve complex medical challenges, and change lives, but also improves the underlying fabric of healthcare policy. Like Uber and Airbnb, my dream is to eventually create an organization that fundamentally shifts the contemporary regulatory paradigm in healthcare to one that evolves and appropriately reflects both the medical and psychological needs of the modern patient.

The more I study disability, disease, impairment, and their implications on the human psyche, the more I appreciate the power of community - the feeling that there are people who fearlessly stand with you as you look to defy the odds. As I look to achieve my life’s mission and create a better healthcare system, I can’t think of a stronger, more supportive, and more inspiring community than Harvard.

The general management toolkit, network, and leadership skills that I develop will stay with me long past my time at HBS. I am confident in finding co-founders, collaborators, and investors who are as passionate as I am about solving entrenched challenges in healthcare. I plan to engage in cross-disciplinary inquiry through the [Initiative], and strive to develop a deft understanding of the interplay between the business, policy, and technological aspects of healthcare, something made uniquely possible through close collaboration with HMS and HKS.

I am more inspired than ever to realize my dream of restoring the lives of millions who suffer through no fault of their own, and the Harvard MBA will enable me to achieve exactly that.

This essay manages to take a very broad MBA essay question and turn it into a highly focused and genuine personal statement. The applicant doesn’t merely state their goals, but paints a delicate picture of their very personal inspirations that have become their driving force. 

This MBA personal statement includes numerous details, while refraining from including irrelevant ones. Each part of the narrative that they’ve told is necessary and is carefully woven together to provide an accurate background of where their motivation stems from and how it has led them to apply to this school. 

They also reference relevant achievements and experiences that they’ve had that indicate a strong sense of leadership within them, making them an attractive candidate for the school they’re applying to.

1. What is the purpose of an MBA personal statement?

The general purpose of an MBA personal statement is to show the admissions committee a little more about who you are and why they should consider your candidacy for their program. It is also a chance for you to show your goals and ambitions, while demonstrating how they pertain to the specific MBA program you’re applying to.

2. How long should an MBA personal statement be?

Some schools have specific minimum or maximum word counts for their essays, while others don’t. A school will typically list these kinds of requirements together with the essay questions.

3. What should I focus on with my MBA personal statement?

Your MBA personal statement should focus on answering the question(s) that the school has provided. These questions vary from school-to-school, but are usually found on the applications page of a school’s website, along with all of the other information relevant to your application. In conjunction with your answer to the prompt, you may focus on describing experiences, skills, and goals of yours that are relevant to the MBA program you’re applying to.

4. Should I write a different personal statement for each school that I apply to if I’m applying to multiple schools/programs?

Yes. Not only does each school have their own essay questions, but each school also has its own set of values, missions, and interests. Thus, your MBA personal statement isn’t easily transferable from one school’s application to another. 

If you want to maximize your chances of getting accepted into a school’s MBA program, you must carefully craft a unique MBA personal statement for each school that you apply to.

5. What should I research before writing my MBA personal statement?

Some research into a school is necessary before you can begin writing an MBA personal statement to submit to them. You may want to research a school’s mission statement, curriculum, faculty, extracurricular activities, or other pertinent information related to their MBA program. 

It will be necessary to reference these kinds of things throughout your MBA personal statement when you explain why this particular school is the best option for you and why you are the best fit for their next cohort.

6. Should I mention my GPA or GMAT/GRE scores in my MBA personal statement?

No. Your academic transcripts and test score submissions will be part of a different section of your application. The admissions committee does not need to see the same information in two places. 

Use the MBA personal statement as an opportunity to improve your candidacy for the school’s program in fresh, new ways by discussing things that would not be possible to include in your transcripts or on your résumé.

Your MBA personal statement is a vital part of your MBA application, and, as such, it requires that you approach your writing process with careful consideration. Your personal statement is a significant opportunity to make a good impression on the admissions committee by showing them who you are and why you deserve a coveted spot in their program. 

Plan out what you want to say, and take your time organizing exactly how you’d like to say it. Remember that every word counts, so make sure that you stay focused and don’t get off-topic. Once you’ve written an outstanding MBA personal statement that you feel packs a punch, proofread your essay, and, if possible, have others proofread it as well to ensure that there are no errors that will detract from the content.

You should also make sure that your writing conveys a sense of confidence, creativity, and passion. If you account for all of these things, and you let your true self shine through in your MBA personal statement, then there is no reason why an admissions committee wouldn’t be interested in having you join their next cohort of students.

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Last updated February 9, 2024

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. For some people, the best way to start writing a personal statement is indeed just to start.

But for most writers, jumping right into the writing process is a daunting task. If you’ve never written a personal statement before, then how do you know where to begin?

That’s where example essays come in. There are millions of opinions in the college admissions world about whether or not students should read example essays. But here’s ours:

You absolutely should be reading example personal statements.

Let’s get into it.

Why you should read example personal statements

Reading example personal statements helps you understand why they work (or don’t work) in the admissions process.

Now, the point of reading them isn’t to copy them. It’s not even necessarily to be inspired by them.

Instead, the point of reading examples is to know what personal statements look like. Think about it: if you’d never seen a children’s book before, would you know how to write one? Probably not! Same goes for personal statements.

In this post, we show you some exceptional, solid, and need-to-be-improved personal statements.

And to help you understand how these essays function as personal statements, we’ve also gotten our team of former admissions officers to grade and provide feedback on each.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

  • Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
  • Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
  • Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
  • Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
  • Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay, essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

  • Strengths: AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
  • Personal meaning: Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
  • Authenticity and vulnerability: These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
  • Clear organization and writing: And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

  • Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
  • Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
  • Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #2: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

  • Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
  • Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
  • Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #3: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

  • Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
  • Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cleche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
  • Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #4: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

  • Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
  • Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
  • Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #5: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

  • Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
  • Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
  • Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #6: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

  • Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
  • Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
  • Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #7: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

  • Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
  • Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
  • Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow along.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #8: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

  • Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
  • Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
  • Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

  • Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #9: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

  • Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
  • Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
  • More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #10: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

  • Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
  • Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
  • Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #11: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

  • Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
  • Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
  • Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #12: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

  • Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
  • Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
  • What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #13: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

  • Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
  • Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
  • More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess whether your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

  • Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

  • Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Strikeout that Changed my Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

  • Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
  • Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
  • Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it’s lacking vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

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personal statement for business student

Personal Statement - BSc (Hons) Business Management

  • Sample personal statement

personal statement for business student

07 July, 2022

Personal statement - bsc (hons) business management share.

  • 12 May, 2013

I am keen to study the BSc (Hons) Business Management with International Foundation Programmeat the University of East London.I am very ambitious and I have always been interested in management-related things. I believe Management to be a fast-developing profession as business industries are heavily involved with their management for all kinds of decisions, and I find the prospect of working in this field inspiring. And I found that studying this course will help me to enhance my knowledge of the fundamentals of business management, and contemporary business issues in an international context.The course combines practical and professional experience with creative attempts at enterprise and innovation which can develop my entrepreneurial spirit. I have an incredibly high interest in furthering my study in Business Management in the UK. I hope I can improve my academic accomplishments with particular aptitudes and make a predominant open entryway for my job in this field.

I completed my Secondary Education from the Business Studies group in 2018 and Intermediate Education from the Humanities group in 2021 respectively from the Sylhet, Bangladesh Board. I was involved in various co-curricular activities to enrich my knowledge. I would like to pursue a BA (Hons) Business Management course because this course would benefit me professionally. I think I should gain more knowledge in the field of Business so I decided to continue my further studies with this course. As I want to explore my career in business positions, this course will give me an upper hand to understand any business contexts and situations. As of the moment, I am interested in learning all the related skills and knowledge from this course. Where I found this course is designed to train the students for a future career. I'll be taught the fundamentals of business management in a large range of business landscapes which will ensure my skills and adaptability as the world changes. If I can successfully complete this course, and this course provides academic knowledge and skills to pursue career opportunities worldwide and will help me develop a broader understanding of specific areas such as Economics, Marketing and Business Accounting. So, I am confident that my professional goal makes me a suitable candidate for the course.

I want career advancement with different prospective. When I researched the University of East London course I found the highly contemporary modules for the BSc (Hons) Business Management with Foundation Year Programme.In my foundation year, I will be able to develop my academic skills, academic literacy, and fundamentals of business issues. In my first year, I will be introducedto various organizations and their prospects of work which will enhance my employability. I will also know about market strategies, project management, product designing,and how organizations produce and deliver products in my second year. In my third year, I can develop my core employability skills which will unlock my potential and improve my various skills. However, I am also attractedto the assessment method of my chosen course. I hope this will give me an upper hand in my future career progression. Moreover, I want to learn all the related skills and knowledge from my chosen course. Throughout my research, I have identified that I can grow up my career in smoothly with Business Management field. If I can successfully complete this course it will create a platform for me to explore different career opportunities such as Manager, Management Consultant, and Operations Manager. I believe this course will be the right choice for my career plans and objectives.

My wish is to study in the UK as UK education is known for the professions. And as for my graduation level of study, I want to build my academic skills strongly so I choose the UK. The study environment in my country is quite different and we get to study with only the national students. Furthermore, the political chaos makes it harder for students to get a degree without any delay. On the other hand, the UK has a great multicultural and diversified student community which is an opportunity for me to learn with a lot of students from different nationalities. UK education brand is highly respected by employers in our country as UK degree prepare graduates with academic competencies, developed personal and professional skills that are imperative for organizational success. The transferrable skills graduates carry forward from the UK are pivotal for transforming organisational growth and gain competitive advantages. A recent Survey of International Graduate Outcomes 2019 by Universities UK International produced by iGraduate shows that 82% of international graduates say that their UK degrees are worth the financial investment and a similar number of graduates say that they are satisfied or very satisfied with their careers. Nearly 83% feel that a UK degree has helped them to get jobs. These aspects have driven my ambition to gain the degree from a UK institution.

My choice is the University of East London because it incredibly welcomes international students and includes content and structure with a distinct focus on the international context and professional level. In addition, University of East London is dedicated to supporting international students to develop the skills, mental intelligence and creativity needed to improve in a constantly changing world and the competitive job market. To support students the University have invested heavily in their facilities to shape the physical and intellectual environment of learning. The university is ranked 801st in the QS World University Rankings by Top Universities and has an overall score of 4.1 stars, according to student reviews in the study portals. In addition, the university offers modern and secure on-campus accommodation which will add extra convenience and experience for international students. In addition, the university has a good reputation for teaching, research and business partnerships. Moreover, The University works hard to ensure that all students reach their full potential. I will look no further if I get this opportunity to study at the University of East London.

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Writing a Personal Statement for Law School

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Writing a Personal Statement for Law School was originally published on College Recruiter .

In order to gain entrance into law school, prospective students are required to write an essay detailing the reasons why they want to become lawyers. Unlike the college entrance application, personal statements for law school are essays that have an open format. Successful lawyers are high achievers long before they enter law school. They exude confidence and accomplish their goals. When you write your law school statement, you need to write in a way that shows your skills, competence, and achievements. Think of the person reading your essay as you write. He or she will want to know what you have to offer society as a lawyer. That person also has an interest in your motivations for wanting to be a lawyer and what it is that makes you a better prospect than other law school applicants. Remember that admissions officers review hundreds of applications. Tell them the true story of the things in your life that made you decide to become an attorney. Do not embellish or say anything false because they will see through it. Do not use cliches that you have heard from someone else or tell them what you think they want to hear. For instance, if you really enjoy helping the homeless, write it down in such a way that it shows your reasons rather than telling them. What qualifies you to be a lawyer? What character traits, skills, and talents do you have that would make you a good lawyer? Describe everything you know about yourself that you feel qualifies you above other people. Don’t be disingenuous by exaggerating your skills and accomplishments. If you have any weaknesses that you feel may potentially disqualify you from law school, how do you get around them in your personal statement? That is a tough question. If you have a period of time where you had below average grades, using excuses is not the solution to your dilemma. Try to find something positive that you learned that helps you overcome the flaw. In the case of grades, you could tell how you improved them. One writer’s technique that works effectively on essays and personal statements is active voice. Use active verbs in your senses. Passive voice sounds weak and that is not the way you want to come across to the admissions board. That however does not mean that you should try to impress anyone with your knowledge of legal terminology. A personal statement does not mean writing your complete personal life memoirs. In other words, don’t write a book. Instead, write a 1 to 2 page statement using the tips contained here. When you’re finished, ask people you know to read your statement. Take their suggestions seriously. This is perhaps the most important step of all in writing your personal statement. Revise once. Set it down for a day. Revise twice. Set it down for another day. Read it again and revise and edit once more. Let someone read it again and get their opinion of your statement. Writing our personal statement for law school is not rocket science. When you put the time and effort into writing it, you will likely end up with a personal statement that will effectively get the notice of the Board of Admissions. Tip: Get a head start on writing your own personal statement by starting with a sample personal statement . Your writing will be faster, easier, and more professional as a result. Jason Kay is a professional writer offering advice in a number of areas including resume writing and personal statement writing. You can learn more useful tips at his resume writing blog .

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'Your loans will be forgiven': Over 150,000 student loan borrowers may soon get an important email

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President Joe Biden and his administration are clearing $1.2 billion in student debt balances for 153,000 borrowers .

Borrowers on the Saving on a Valuable Education income-driven repayment plan who originally took out $12,000 or less in loans at least 10 years ago have started being notified that their debt is forgiven, the administration announced Wednesday. 

"I hope this relief gives you a little more breathing room," the email from President Biden to qualifying borrowers reads. "I've heard from countless people who have told me that relieving the burden of their student loan debt will allow them to support themselves and their families, buy their first home, start a small business, and move forward with life plans they've put on hold."

The SAVE plan rolled out in summer 2023 , with the administration touting it as the "most affordable" repayment plan available to borrowers.

The opportunity for low-balance borrowers to have their loans forgiven after 10 years of payments was initially slated to go into effect this upcoming summer, but the administration announced in January it would move that timeline up.

Now, qualifying borrowers have started receiving emails notifying them their loans have been forgiven. "Congratulations—all or a portion of your federal student loans will be forgiven because you qualify for early loan forgiveness under my Administration's SAVE Plan," the emails read.

Those affected do not need to take any additional steps to receive relief, the administration says. Next week, the Department of Education will begin contacting borrowers whose loans are eligible for forgiveness, but who have not enrolled in the SAVE plan yet.

All borrowers on the SAVE plan are eligible to have their remaining balances forgiven after 20 years of repayment for undergraduate borrowers or 25 years for those with graduate school loans, regardless of how much they initially borrowed.

Those who borrowed $12,000 or less only need to make payments for 10 years before becoming eligible for forgiveness on the SAVE plan, or an additional year for every $1,000 borrowed above $12,000. That means anyone who took out $21,000 or less in undergraduate loans can have their debt forgiven on a shorter timeline than the standard 20-year term.

Why low-balance borrowers may need relief the most

While it may seem like those with smaller initial student loan balances should have an easier time paying them off, Education Secretary Miguel Cardona highlights the fact that many of those borrowers wind up with small loan balances because they don't finish college, and therefore tend to earn less than their degree-holding peers. 

As a result, 21% of borrowers with less than $15,000 of outstanding student debt were behind on their payments, compared with 17% of borrowers with higher balances, according to a 2020 Fed survey .

"We recognize that for those who take out smaller loans, a lot of those folks are the ones that end up without a degree and with debt that they can't handle and they're low-income earners," Cardona told CNBC Make It in January. "This is a subgroup that's really negatively impacted by the current system."

What's more, borrowers who met forgiveness eligibility requirements before January 2024 but still made loan payments that month or later can have those payments refunded, according to the Federal Student Aid website . 

"This means that, for example, if we determine that your forgiveness date is in February 2024, then any payments you made during or after March 2024 will be refunded to you," FSA says. "However, if we determine that your date of forgiveness is in July 2023, then only payments made during or after January 2024 will be refunded to you."

The forgiveness comes at a time when student loan borrowers are facing critical decisions like how to balance their student loan payments with saving for retirement . Though more relief is on the way for borrowers on the SAVE plan — including even lower monthly payments later this summer — debt forgiveness advocates are celebrating this recent round of cancellation.

"Student debt cancellation results in freedom from a financial burden that has weighed thousands of borrowers down," Natalia Abrams, president of the Student Debt Crisis Center, said in a statement . "This is more proof that student debt cancellation is the path forward to achieve an affordable higher education system in this country again."

Want to land your dream job in 2024?  Take CNBC's new online course How to Ace Your Job Interview to learn what hiring managers are really looking for, body language techniques, what to say and not to say, and the best way to talk about pay.

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What Medical School Personal Statements Have in Common

Experts Reveal 7 Things the Best Medical School Personal Statements Have Square

As qualified as you might feel when applying to Doctor of Medicine (MD) programs, it’s important not to get ahead of yourself and to remain thoughtful while completing each and every component of your applications. Your medical school personal statement is a particularly critical element that gives you the opportunity to convey your best qualities to admissions teams.

This medical school essay provides a more intimate look at who you are as a person, what made you choose to become a doctor, and what you envision for your career after earning your MD. In addition to the content of this narrative, your quality of writing, organization of ideas, and attention to detail can also be indicative of your potential to succeed as a med student.

Before you start planning your own approach, consider the following advice on how to write a personal statement for medical school.

6 Features of a stand-out medical school personal statement

It’s helpful to note that the following elements are important to keep in mind when crafting personal statements within the American Medical College Application Service (AMCAS), the American Association of Colleges of Osteopathic Medicine Application Service (AACOMAS), and the Texas Medical and Dental Schools Application Service (TMDSAS) alike.

1. Make them personal

Most elements of your med school applications will seem entirely un-personal. While things like your GPA, MCAT score, and transcripts can certainly speak to your academic qualifications, they don’t necessarily provide admissions teams with a full picture of who you are as an individual.

Your medical school personal statement, on the other hand, allows you to represent your authentic motivations and interests to your target programs. Before you start writing, take some time to reflect on why you are interested in becoming a doctor. Having a clear understanding of the driving force behind your medical career goals can be a great jumping off point as you determine how to frame your essay.

Rather than simply listing your achievements, think about where you have been and why you have continued down this unique path. You may also want to speak to an area of specialization that piques your interest or a particular topic you hope to research during medical school.

2. Tell a compelling story

Your journey thus far hasn’t solely been about attending classes and getting good grades in your medical school prerequisite courses. If you want your medical school personal statement to stand out, you’ll need to provide some notable takeaways within your captivating narrative.

Think about some memorable experiences you’ve had that relate to your personal development or your goals in medicine. Consider narrowing down your ideas by discussing them with a mentor or a few of your peers to determine which might seem the most unique or interesting.

Keep in mind that an experience doesn’t have to be extravagant to make for good subject matter; the key is selecting something that has been impactful for you personally. A seemingly unremarkable event in your life can still serve as a great essay topic, so don’t get stuck trying to think of a monumental moment.

3. Reveal your best qualities

Whatever narrative thread you choose for your medical school essay, you’ll want to be sure it highlights your personal selling points. Ideally, your personal statement should speak to how you exhibit many of the core competencies for entering medical students highlighted by the Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC).

Consider the following AAMC Pre-med Competencies:

Pre-Medical Compentencies

Keep these in mind as you craft your med school personal statement and find ways to highlight your proficiency in some of those competencies.

4. Clean and professional

Even the most compelling medical school personal statement can fall flat if it is full of grammatical errors, sloppy paragraph structure, or punctuation mistakes. There’s no excuse for basic writing mishaps, so be sure to proofread meticulously. If possible, enlist multiple people to check your work.

5. Have substance

It’s also helpful to remember that there will likely be a character limit for your medical school personal statement, so there isn’t room for language that doesn’t add to the overall narrative.

Simply following the basic outline format for essays is wise. Strive for clarity with an introduction, three to five supporting points, and a definitive conclusion. This personal statement format has become a go-to choice because it’s usually quite effective.

6. Answer the Questions

If you’ve ever researched medical school personal statement examples, you’ve likely noticed the essays that stand out to admissions teams clearly introduce the topic and tell a cohesive narrative. To achieve the same success, start brainstorming themes before you sit down to write. Try to align that topic with your personal story when writing, and be sure to end on a strong note.

“The closing paragraph is the second most important piece of your essay, right behind the opening paragraph,” Moon notes. “It must tie everything together.”

Apply to MD programs with confidence

You’re now better equipped to put your best foot forward when crafting your medical school personal statement. As you focus on how you might be evaluated by admissions committees. Find out more about the process by reading our article “7 Questions About Medical School Applications”.

This article has been updated to reflect information since 2021

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2 Average of 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, and 2023 residency placement rates. Residency placement rate is defined as the total number of students/graduates who obtained a US residency divided by the total number of students/graduates who applied to a US residency program in a given year as of September 2023.

3 Total results from the five calendar years 2018-2022. First-time pass rate is defined as the number of US students (US citizens/permanent residents) passing USMLE Step 1 on their first attempt divided by the total number of US students taking USMLE Step 1 for the first time within the given time range. In order to be certified to take USMLE Step 1, students are required to pass all basic sciences courses.

4 Total results from the five academic years 2019-2023. First-time pass rate is defined as the number of US students passing USMLE Step 2 CK on their first attempt divided by the total number of US students taking USMLE Step 2 CK for the first time. USMLE Step 2 CK is typically taken upon completion of third-year core clinical rotations

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3 Average of 2019, 2020, 2021 scores. First-time pass rate is defined as the number of students passing USMLE Step 1 on their first attempt divided by the total number of students taking USMLE Step 1 for the first time. In order to be certified to take USMLE Step 1, students are required to pass all basic sciences courses.

4 Average of academic years 2019, 2020, 2021 scores. First-time pass rate is defined as the number of students passing USMLE Step 2 CK on their first attempt divided by the total number of students taking USMLE Step 2 CK for the first time. USMLE Step 2 CK is typically taken upon completion of third-year core clinical rotations.

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International Business Personal Statement Example 5

From a young age, I developed an eager interest to how both small and large businesses work. My enthusiasm for a business-related subject came from growing up watching my stepfather run a small and successful tailor store and my mother working at Citibank. This made me aware of the daily life in the business world where an extensive amount of time and effort is put in, in order to satisfy the need of the customers. As my stepfather's tailor store used to be situated in my home country Vietnam, I also became fascinated of how a business could be moved from one country to another. I became keen to understand how the success of a business could differ tremendously depending on culture and circumstances. Furthermore I have always been drawn to understanding the way the world works and how different cultures cooperate in order to function as a whole. Therefore working in the international spheres within business has for a long time been a great interest of mine.

Studying economics in social studies 1 and 2 strengthened these early interests. It taught me the pricing of goods and services, the process of production and the basic concept of supply and demand. Furthermore, in my sustainable development course, I learnt how Maslow's theory of hierarchy of needs can be used in businesses to motivate employees to work productively but also the importance for a business to operate sustainably with its stakeholders in mind. These subjects broadened my knowledge of the development of businesses in an ever changing world. Additionally, through the course of sustainable development I was awarded the opportunity to examine sustainable solutions to transport on a study trip to India. I believe this allows me to advance my practical ability of collecting information and gain experience of the social, economic and environmental issues of the developing world.

Some other interests I have gained from my three years at upper secondary high school are my increasing interests for solving math problems as it has taught me to be determined in solving issues. Moreover my interest for studying English, Swedish, Mandarin, French and Vietnamese has developed my ability to write texts and essays and also understand different cultures. Therefore my mathematical ability allied to my broad linguistics has helped develop my communication skills and hold a balanced and open-minded outlook on the world. These can be useful to drive ideas forward in businesses on a national and global level.

Outside the classrom, I like to involve myself in extra-curricular activities in order to advance my educational experience. Being a part of school associations such as the graduation committee has helped develop my ability for leadership and organization. I was also a member of the schools cheerleading team. Cheerleading was physically demanding and required a great amount of trust. Due to this I learnt the values of hard work, determination and teamwork. Apart from school activities I work at a fast-food restaurant as a part-time job, this has taught me the essence of team work and handling stress and pressure. From this I believe that what has been learnt will be essential for all aspects in the studies of business.

Through studying an area in business at university I believe that it will further strengthen my understanding of this subject. As a student with an international background it would be perfect to study in the United Kingdom as it is offers many international cities with universities that have a global outlook. Also, after receiving high marks in the Social Studies program, I wish to further my ambitions in the business industry in hope to contribute to your university community as I develop theories and ideas of my own to improve the idea of managing a successful business.

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Applied to: Warwick university, loughborough university, strathclyde university, bristol university and Edinburgh university

Got offers from: Warwick university and loughbourough university

I will be attending Warwick university october 2017

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  1. Business School Personal Statement Examples

    I have held many positions within the company, from sales manager to director, and I am looking to further my education in the hopes that I will gain the knowledge and skills necessary to not only take my business acumen to the next level but to positively impact the world at large. Read more >>

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  3. The Personal Statement

    1. The general, comprehensive personal statement: This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms. 2. The response to very specific questions:

  4. Business Management Personal Statement Examples

    Business and Management Personal Statement Example 1 I have chosen a business related course as I have been interested in this field from GCSE level and I believe that I have the qualities to forge a successful career in this area. I have been inspired to fulfil this path by my Uncle, a director at a successful company in England.

  5. Business Management Personal Statement Examples

    10 Jan,2023 Alan Withworth Applying to business management school? You will need a strong personal statement to support your university application. Use our business management personal statement examples as a guidance to write your own. Also, make sure to check other personal statement examples for more inspiration.

  6. Business Personal Statements

    Business Personal Statement Example 1 My decision to apply for a degree in Business is due to my desire to aim for a career in the promotion of electronic music. This initiated from a visit to London, where I had the opportunity to experience the deeply fascinating influences of the local club scene to the culture of our times...

  7. Business, marketing and management personal statements

    University Personal statements Business, marketing and management personal statements On this page you'll find a collection of real personal statements written by students applying to study business and related courses at university. These personal statements are written by real students - don't expect them all to be perfect!

  8. How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

    Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren't great in core courses, or perhaps you've never worked in the field you're applying to. Make sure to address the ...

  9. Writing a Business Personal Statement: 7 Steps to a Stand-Out

    Step 1: Answer the fundamental question of a business personal statement The first step is perhaps the most important: interrogating why they want to study business. The strongest personal statements showcase a well-rounded interest in business.

  10. How to write a personal statement for business studies

    In your personal statement you should talk about what you have learnt through your A-level studies. Courses with a specialist focus on accountancy or finance will ask for maths A-level, so if you ...

  11. Personal statement advice: business and management

    A spot-on business personal statement - in a nutshell Dr Pam Croney, admissions tutor at Newcastle Business School at Northumbria University, is especially looking for evidence of: an independent learner a thinker and doer an innovator or potential entrepreneur a good communicator who likes giving presentations

  12. Business Management Personal Statement Examples

    Recommended Course Future business leaders wanted! Stand out with a degree from Nottingham Trent University. Join our business and management graduates who have gone on to lead brands including ASOS, Tesco, Publicis Groupe, The Ordinary and Raleigh UK. Visit Website Business Management Personal Statement Advice

  13. Business and Management Personal Statement 9 Examples

    Business Management Personal Statement. There are many events in a person's life, but only a few of them are important and define a new start in t... Recommended Course. Make an impact on the economy, businesses and individual lives. Apply your skills to real-world financial markets, use simulation software and learn from the expertise of ...

  14. How to Write a Personal Statement (Tips + Essay Examples)

    A personal statement is an essay in which you demonstrate aspects of who you are by sharing some of the qualities, skills, and values you'll bring to college.

  15. Business studies degree personal statement example (1c)

    Business studies degree personal statement example (1c) This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements. From an early age, I have always been interested in the business world.

  16. Business Student CV example + guide [Get hired quick]

    Logistics & Travel Manufacturing & Automotive Sales & Marketing Teaching & Education How long should a CV be? Stats & Studies Accounting & Finance Business & Admin Construction & Property Creative & Arts Health & Medical Junior & Student Legal & Compliance Logistics & Travel Manufacturing & Automotive Sales & Marketing Teaching & Education

  17. What is a Masters personal statement?

    An MSc personal statement, also known as a 'statement of purpose', supports your application to study a postgraduate course at university. It should highlight your key skills and experience whilst demonstrating your understanding of the course and conveying your academic skills and interests. From her experience in the Recruitment and ...

  18. Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples

    An exceptionally well-written personal statement could be the gateway to your success and could land your name on a shortlist for an interview invitation to the business school of your choice, getting you that much closer to an acceptance to a future MBA program.

  19. 16 Winning Personal Statement Examples (And Why They Work)

    1. Personal statement example for graduate school A personal statement for graduate school differs greatly from one to further your professional career. It is usually an essay, rather than a brief paragraph. Here is an example of a personal statement written for graduate school admission: Jean Smith

  20. 15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

    Personal Statement Example #2: Pickleball. I've always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I'm always the first one out and the last one across the finish line.

  21. Personal Statement

    This sample personal statement is to guide you on how to write your own personal statement for BSc (Hons) Business Management with International Foundation Programme. Total Student Care (TSC) uses cookies to improve your experience on our site. ... To support students the University have invested heavily in their facilities to shape the ...

  22. Business School Personal Statement Writing

    A personal statement is a way for business admissions teams (usually consisting of faculty) to learn more about you as a candidate. It is a piece of creative writing that allows you to sell your abilities, skills and experience to others, much like a covering letter for a job application. Admissions tutors not only want to see why you are ...

  23. Writing a Personal Statement for Law School

    Writing our personal statement for law school is not rocket science. When you put the time and effort into writing it, you will likely end up with a personal statement that will effectively get the notice of the Board of Admissions. Tip: Get a head start on writing your own personal statement by starting with a sample personal statement. Your ...

  24. Biden administration forgives $1.2 billion in student debt

    President Joe Biden and his administration are clearing $1.2 billion in student debt balances for 153,000 borrowers. Borrowers on the Saving on a Valuable Education income-driven repayment plan ...

  25. Medical School Personal Statement

    This personal statement format has become a go-to choice because it's usually quite effective. 6. Answer the Questions. If you've ever researched medical school personal statement examples, you've likely noticed the essays that stand out to admissions teams clearly introduce the topic and tell a cohesive narrative.

  26. International Business Personal Statement Example 5

    Business Personal Statement Example 9. My highest career aspiration is to ring the opening bell at Wall Street as my firm celebrates the successful completion of its initial public offering. From a very young age, I was always amazed by the world of business and the movement of financial capital around the globe.